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Posted on May 26, 2022 by Jordan

Haiku For Times Gone By

The worst nostalgia
has you longing for a past
that never happened.

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"Part of it!" is still one of the funniest lines ever
"YES! FUCK YOU!" is also how I reacted to finally implementing inline spoiler tags in Wordpress; I had to learn CSS for that!
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also I just remembered Disney is the reason EA was allowed to make Battlefront in the first place so...
also the whole album is great you should check it out
alt title: that time I almost got fired and then got promoted
and if no one is Chevy Chase then everyone is Chevy Chase
and now he's more famous than Hugh Laurie
and see you want to make a "disco inferno" joke but they beat you to it
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an ennui mood
a poem a day keeps the doctor away unless the poem is trash
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a skeleton of law would a good name for a book
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a thief has to rescue a princess (whose an orphan) from marrying an evil dude and that's it there's no ships or ancient magic or Mark Hamill (see it makes more sense now right?)
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borderlands is a great palate cleanser if you like cleansing your palate with heroin
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can you tell i've been rewatching m*a*s*h?
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Experiments in Logo
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for what it's worth I do feel a little bad about that joke
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going to the bathroom saves the day again
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I just...I don't know. Something.
incredibly unconvincing and shallow
in my head he's James Earl Jones
in which I compare music to salmon
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i simply remember my favorite things and then I feel reeeeealy bad
is it Spider-Mans or Spiders-Man?
is north korea a thing?
it's a duck-blur
it's kind of like a christmas card...in march
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it'll be really confusing when they release the special edition of Cyberpunk 2077 in 2077 but it's v2.020
it's nothing to fax home about
I think i cribbed that move from Shane Koyczan
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life is good(?)
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millenials are killing blaming millenials
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more like boyesbos amirite?
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most cases of electronic sterility have been linked to cocaine
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mostly everything tries to kill you
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Music
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narrator: thus began his J-pop phase
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no you underthink things
nuclear armageddon
obviously no one cares but my anxiety doesn't know that
obvious metaphors
Oh captain my captain
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oh hey Oh Pep!
oh no i used epigraphs
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oops all Jemisin shoutouts
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prettygoodforawarcriminal
probably there are better essays about this
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random grab bag of goodness
really I know nothing about DeLillo
RIP Scooter
rise of skywalker is a bad movie is the joke
robot emus are the best emus
sandworms and stuff
self-indulgent footnotes
semantic satiation
seriously play metroid fusion
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shakespeare said give me a million dollars
shells weren't in the book
shoegaze's uncle is ELO
shrink aRAY? get it? 'cause shrink ray?
Simply Cyberpunk
Skittle-flavored funtime paper
smash that vote button
so attacked and yet so catered to
social media for fish
some coincidences demand a poem
spot the incomplete thought
stacy's mom is a california gurl apparently
swampedelic
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Thanksgiving
that's what you get when you don't have vowels
that's kyllo with two ls
that all-important "Jewish women in their 60s" demographic
the best Annie
the cashew butter ended up going really well with my veggie burger for lunch
the drones were the thing i forgot those stupid drones
theeeeeemes
the essay is in fact about me
the eternal cliffhanger
the eyes are teeth that see
the goats are not robots
the jank is strong with this one
the meat of the sandwich is the stuff between the bread
The name's Mac. Fleetwood Mac. It all started with a dame named Rhiannon...
the only good billionaire is a fictional billionaire and even most of them still suck
there's a really funny joke in there for German Wiccans
the real rainbow connection was the friends we made along the way
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the right to arm...birds?
the vibes
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they're the same room
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triangles
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watch the animatrix it's good
wereperson? thereperson
what even is words
who doesn't love mellotron
WHY ARE HIS FINGERTIPS HOOVES???
why are so many things better in my head than in real life
why are these so hard to write
winner gets a tshirt that says "i am easily suckered in by unsubtle trophy-hunting mechanics"
with great power comes great responsibility™
WITH HIS DIAPHRAGM TIED BEHIND HIS BACK
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You Better Watch Out Because I'm Gonna Say Ludonarrative Dissonance
YOU CAN RIDE A MOOSE
you gotta watch out for those exploding pianos
you know?
yup I still watch the blacklist
yup I used that Sherlock reference again

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