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Month: December 2020

Posted on Dec 31, 2020

Almost

When you think about it, nothing ever almost happens.

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"High technoooology!" (to the tune of Mel Brookes' "High Anxiety")
"Part of it!" is still one of the funniest lines ever
"YES! FUCK YOU!" is also how I reacted to finally implementing inline spoiler tags in Wordpress; I had to learn CSS for that!
#bubblegate
#content?
#Cordlumbo
#JamesAcasterIsFromBetelgeuse
#KillTobyYouCowards
#nerdingoutonmusic
#notmyirobot
$torytime
(for midterms)
(I may have exaggerated how good Scary Pockets is)
(the pools)
...actual art?
...HERE HE COMES TO SAVE THE DAAAAY!
2 different shades of tan
a a bit of fry and laurie laurie clip
a barely functioning stressed out husk of a human being
a circle is just a polygon with a lot of sides
ACSLogo
a feast of aural goodies
a haunch of venison well hugged
ah the Australia of it all
aka that dream about a train part 1
aka that dream about a train part 2
alcoholism
all aboard the hype train choo choo
all bow before the algorithm
all i do is frivol
all reet all reet
all the cool kids call it drug-taking right?
also I just remembered Disney is the reason EA was allowed to make Battlefront in the first place so...
also the whole album is great you should check it out
alt title: that time I almost got fired and then got promoted
and if no one is Chevy Chase then everyone is Chevy Chase
and now he's more famous than Hugh Laurie
and see you want to make a "disco inferno" joke but they beat you to it
and then other stuff happens
an ennui mood
a poem a day keeps the doctor away unless the poem is trash
Aragorn is a Mary Sue
as (apparently) always
a skeleton of law would a good name for a book
a sketch about nothing
ask not what the poem is doing for the line break but what the line break is doing for the poem for you
a sour and fidgety frustration
at best
a thief has to rescue a princess (whose an orphan) from marrying an evil dude and that's it there's no ships or ancient magic or Mark Hamill (see it makes more sense now right?)
attention is currency in the marketplace of ideas
a very 2020-202? kinda mood
a well-hammered militia
b( )ke
backlashaganza
badabapa
banjo!
bazinga
because obviously nothing up to this point has been nerdy
BENjambment
BenJammi-wait wrong Benjamin
BenJammin
Bernie Sanders as a head in a vat proposing legislation to forgive all student time debt
bill nihilism the we're all gonna die guy
black hole pensioners would be a great band name
blame bill watterson
Books
borderlands is a great palate cleanser if you like cleansing your palate with heroin
boy I sure had things to say about the Mean Girls remake
brack obama
Brussels sprouts
but also also also also
but also capitalism sucks
but also imperialism sucks
but also our education system sucks
but also ubisoft sucks
but also we should be critical of institutions that declare themselves arbiters of cultural significance
but i prefer noogies
can turtles even hold pens don't they have flippers
can you tell i've been rewatching m*a*s*h?
can you tell this started as satire and then I tricked myself into being earnest
Carlos Danger
charmingly inadequate
cheese and saxophones
class solidarity
Cliff Clavin was right
COEF
crying at work like a not boss bosses dont cry they have all the money
cry ov4r me
Cs get degrees
dailyprompt
dailyprompt-1935
death comes for us all
Death of the Author's Brother's Actions That May or May Not be Deserving of Criticism and also His Feelings About This Whole Situation
death of the death of the author's author
dip your paws in my chili
does it count if you're renting and also have a roommate
Doing A Thing
doing good is gooder than doing bad
don't be a harry be a ted
don't question the logistics of the rug-pulling metaphor
don't buy this game
drop-kicking elves
drunkenly arguing about sharks
elephants
en fait c'est un pipe
essays about critical essays about essays about criticism
except you
Experiments in Logo
extermin—i mean unionize
facebook
farts on the wind of bad storytelling
Faulkner
feels like it would be pretty tasteless to do funny tags for this
floppy arms
for what it's worth I do feel a little bad about that joke
french vanilla nuclear apocalypse
friends don't let friends farm blood echoes
froutput
fuck microsoft
funpressing
generally wary of flanging
geometric little trees
get it because that's the name of the character in the thing
get rid of copyright (this text is copyright)
Ghüs!
give me those big philosophy bucks
god bless us every one except slightly less tiny tom he's trying to steal my gimmick with that broken arm the jerk
going to the bathroom saves the day again
googlism
guess which ones I read for school
hah tricked ya
happy birthday kirsten
hello world
here come the care bears waltzing through my bubble
her flute. her flute case. her rented flute.
hexagons are the bestagons
hilarious in a sad way
hip-hopera
honestly if he'd been a balrog I might respect them more
housekeeping
I'd rather be a pig than a fascist
i'm not making soul sex a tag
I'm not sure if that bridge metaphor holds up
I am also a nerd in case that wasn't extremely clear
i am a snobby idiot but also i am quite clever
I am no longer in Act 3 of BG3
I call my son Tater Tot
I didn't plan on reading DFW's full bibliography it's just kind of happening
I did not collect all the strawberries
I done did some words
if i ever format these the same way two years in a row that's when you'll know I'm phoning it in
I finally figured out how to embed Bandcamp tracks
if nobody makes you do it it counts as fun
if you don't like that ending I've got three more
if you have been I wonder why
if you lie to me you will get eaten by wolves now to go to sleep or santa won't bring you any presents
i have very specific complaints
I just...I don't know. Something.
incredibly unconvincing and shallow
in my head he's James Earl Jones
in which I compare music to salmon
in which I fully commit to taking pop music seriously
i simply remember my favorite things and then I feel reeeeealy bad
is it Spider-Mans or Spiders-Man?
is north korea a thing?
it's a duck-blur
it's kind of like a christmas card...in march
it's weird how a lot of my reviews of games I liked are mostly complaining
it'll be really confusing when they release the special edition of Cyberpunk 2077 in 2077 but it's v2.020
it's nothing to fax home about
I think i cribbed that move from Shane Koyczan
i think there is actually an i or two in there
it might end up being terribly but i love the idea of it
it shits
i will never make up my mind about how to alphabetize these
Jesus hates your high school dances
Jethro Tull you know the farmer
Jinx you owe me a guilty vote
just good people killin' nazis
justice for genre fiction
kafkaesque bureaucratic nightmare
Keith "Keith David" David
labour
less math more vibes
life is good(?)
Logo
mayonnaise
me on the internet
merely clever
mere spoons and forks
millenials are killing blaming millenials
mmm sci-fi cake
more like boyesbos amirite?
more like the sucksial network amirite?
most cases of electronic sterility have been linked to cocaine
mostly everything does eventually kill you
mostly everything tries to kill you
Movies
Music
my faves are problematic
narrator: thus began his J-pop phase
never stop never stopping stopping online piracy (act)
not-so-funny bone
not as strange a discontinuity as that episode of cheers where sam is sitting in one shot then standing in the next
not circles
not even one catapult filled with skulls
not penny's boat...or is it?
not sponsored by Mega Mango
no you underthink things
nuclear armageddon
obviously no one cares but my anxiety doesn't know that
obvious metaphors
Oh captain my captain
oh hey I got something published
oh hey Oh Pep!
oh no i used epigraphs
ooh secret project wonder if that will ever actually exist (probably not)
oops all Jemisin shoutouts
oops I forgot I have work tomorrow
oops I swear in this one
order now and get additional speech absolutely free
oulipo eat your heart out
P(ʘ)KE
Paris
peter. bonerz.
peter bonerz
Philawsophy
plane train and other assorted vehicles
Politics
posturing
prettygoodforawarcriminal
probably there are better essays about this
punks?
random grab bag of goodness
really I know nothing about DeLillo
remember when things sucked less
RIP Scooter
rise of skywalker is a bad movie is the joke
robot emus are the best emus
sandworms and stuff
self-indulgent footnotes
semantic satiation
seriously play metroid fusion
seriously whose last name is strange
shakespeare said give me a million dollars
shells weren't in the book
shoegaze's uncle is ELO
shrink aRAY? get it? 'cause shrink ray?
Simply Cyberpunk
Skittle-flavored funtime paper
smash that vote button
so attacked and yet so catered to
social media for fish
some coincidences demand a poem
spot the incomplete thought
stacy's mom is a california gurl apparently
swampedelic
tactical gardening
Thanksgiving
that's what you get when you don't have vowels
that's kyllo with two ls
that all-important "Jewish women in their 60s" demographic
the best Annie
the cashew butter ended up going really well with my veggie burger for lunch
the drones were the thing i forgot those stupid drones
theeeeeemes
the essay is in fact about me
the eternal cliffhanger
the eyes are teeth that see
the goats are not robots
the jank is strong with this one
the meat of the sandwich is the stuff between the bread
The name's Mac. Fleetwood Mac. It all started with a dame named Rhiannon...
the only good billionaire is a fictional billionaire and even most of them still suck
there's a really funny joke in there for German Wiccans
the real rainbow connection was the friends we made along the way
there is not enough material in this post to generate a second funny tag
there must have been a moment
the right to arm...birds?
the vibes
they've got blenders now
they're the same room
this is not a funny tag
this is only kind of a joke
this museum exhibit is undercooked
this paper is well-seasoned
Titanic would be a real mixed bag these days
too much effort for a pun
too old and sober
tri-angles
triangles
truly it is art
tryangles
TV
UCBLogo
underwater in a yurt
unfortunately less Scottish
Video Games
war sucks eat the rich
watch the animatrix it's good
wereperson? thereperson
what even is words
who doesn't love mellotron
WHY ARE HIS FINGERTIPS HOOVES???
why are so many things better in my head than in real life
why are these so hard to write
winner gets a tshirt that says "i am easily suckered in by unsubtle trophy-hunting mechanics"
with great power comes great responsibility™
WITH HIS DIAPHRAGM TIED BEHIND HIS BACK
yeah I'm trying to make COEF a thing
Year in Review 2014
Year in Review 2015
Year in Review 2016
Year in Review 2017
Year in Review 2018
Year in Review 2019
Year in Review 2020
Year in Review 2021
year in review 2022
year in review 2023
Year in Review 2024
year in review 2025
year in review books
Year in Review COEF
year in review movies
year in review music
Year in Review Podcasts
Year in Review TV
year in review video games
Year in Review YouTube
year of Jurado
yes i did read lunch poems at lunch
yes i was legitimately prepared to use an ipod in 2021
yes those are my favorite Girl Scout cookies
yet
Yitzben Ayear
yitzben evenmoreofayear
yorki is the best
You Better Watch Out Because I'm Gonna Say Ludonarrative Dissonance
YOU CAN RIDE A MOOSE
you gotta watch out for those exploding pianos
you know?
yup I still watch the blacklist
yup I used that Sherlock reference again

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